The person I love keeps saying that no one loves her.

Which is absolutely ridiculous. I love her so much that it worries me sometimes. I think about her constantly. I could honestly imagine just…staying with her forever. I mean, obviously I get irritated when she doesn’t talk to me or complains about being fat (which she isn’t, remotely, while I pretty much am) or acts distant. But I can’t stay mad at her for too long.

I wish I could see her more, just so she wouldn’t talk about feeling lonely all the time. Though she probably still would, and that kind of hurts me. I hate the fact that she probably could never honestly be happy with me. 

Once in a blue moon, I might feel as though I’d be strong enough to handle it if she left me. But the thought doesn’t even last more than an hour before the very thought of it makes me feel ill. Sometimes I think I’d have to break up with her first, soon, before I fall even more in love with her and get my heart broken. But I could never do that. I don’t think I could handle not having her in my life or anything, and I hate the idea of making her upset.

I just wish she’d recognize and accept how much I care for her, basically. I rarely get to see her, but for some stupid reason whenever I do, I have a tendency to become horribly sarcastic. I’m afraid if she sees me being too emotional she’ll be disgusted with me. 

It also kind of hurts that she doesn’t talk to me about her problems. I mean, being stressed about school and such, she does. But…I don’t know. I wish I could just know her better. I wish she’d feel comfortable telling me what she thinks about. I tend to read people rather well, but with her….I don’t know. Sometimes it really does seem like she loves me, but other times it seems like she just doesn’t want to be lonely. I know she’s not really comfortable with talking about emotions, but I wish that with me she could be. Pretty stupid wish, but whatever.

Ugh. I hate emotions.